forgetting that thing
I was going to check
wandering around the web
lost in its tangential branches
late night
grows later
as internet minutes
never correspond to clock time
eyes close
a finger rests
on a repeating key
zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz
(D James)
not enough
sleep tired
too many
cigarettes tired
tired all the
time tired
two in the morning
writing
poetry tired
brain tired
road tired
time for bed tired
over-tired
wishing I didn’t
have to get up
and go to
work tired
nodding off
with my fingers
on the
keyboard tired
zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz
(D. James)
to dance
like the bones
don’t ache
to run
with the speed
of a panther
to laugh
with the abandon
of a child
to work
and play
and love
as if
I cannot fail
to sleep
like the dead
and dream
as the mystics do
this is how I wish
to spend
the days and nights
before returning to dust
(D. James)
if I told you again
would you know then
if I laid down and died
would you hole up and cry
if I loved you forever
would you do the same
if I made you my dream
would you sleep through the night
(D. James)
dreaming
of the nights
to come
when you will sleep
next to me
praying for solace
in a distant land
too far from home
too far from you
wishing to wake
into the dream
of finally being
there
(D. James)
can’t eat
can’t sleep
can’t stop thinking
of you
waiting for a call
e-mail
chat
text
something
to let me know
you’re thinking
of me
when I’m thinking
of you
knowing
it’s no good
being like this
but doing it
anyway
’cause there are
no answers
only questions
so why not ask
the same one
over and over
(D. James)
wanting
to hold someone
at the end of a long day
not just a body
but someone to love
curled up in my arms
breathing quietly
the smell of hair
and warm skin
mixed with clean sheets
someone to wake up to
come the morning light
someone
who calls me baby
in a way that means
the world to them
can’t a man want
these things
and not think
he has to hide
his feelings away
I’m just asking
(D. James)
I want
to write
on the walls
spell out
all the
ideas
emotions
color
outside the lines
black pen markings
beginning in one corner
not stopping until I’ve planned out my whole fucking life
filling ten rooms with the words of my mind
the work of my soul
not stopping until it is all out of me
like some monster some wild thing
only then can I lay down to sleep
knowing when I wake it will all
still be there
but exposed out in the open
nothing to hide
(D. James)
here’s where
we get to that part
of the night
closer to dawn
than dusk
when the cars
rubber by
less frequently
and your
eyelids
will not
cooperate
everyone else
is long down
nothing
but the hum
of the refrigerator
to keep you company
and that last car
rolling past your window
won’t be another till dawn
best to wait for it
under the covers
if you’re lucky
it’ll go by
unnoticed
if you’re not
it won’t
(D. James)
up all night
looking
for something
that doesn’t exist
something
I don’t want
to see in me
avoiding
myself
by looking
everywhere
other than here
trying to get
out of my head
when I should
be in bed
another late
night
another wasted
morning
couldn’t I get
the same result
in another way
or another result
in the same way
it’s all the same
in the end
(D. James)
waiting
the night out
feeling
my way
in the dark
hoping
the morning
won’t come
this one time
keeping
the fantasy
of being with you
longer than just tonight
alive for one more hour
as light
lines
the horizon
I take
one last look
and like Eurydice
you vanish before my eyes
(D. James)
in bed
curled around
her sleeping self
I think
this is what
I’ve always
wanted
to whisper
in an ear
that she’s
my one
and only one
but I don’t
realizing
that’s not me
that’s not her
it’s just an idea
in my head
from a song
Taupin wrote
about one of his
ex-wives
and what
does that
tell you
(D. James)
haven’t slept
in my own bed
all week
now it’s later
than late
and I’m faced
with the aloneness
of being alone
in this bed
that’s just
a mattress
on the floor
I miss
your green
eyes
your red
hair
your pale
skin
your
attitude
the way you look
straight at me
in the morning
like a child
who has yet
to learn fear
or know the difference
between themself
and another
and your laugh
pure abandon
in that ha ha ha
the complete unbridled
expression of joy
how will I make it
through the night
and worse
what will I look forward to
in the morning
(D. James)
wanting
to burn
for another
feel
her missing
from the sheets
when she’s away
be
in the warmth
of a gaze
wake
in the silence
before sunrise
stare
at her body
lying in wait
get lost
in the smell
of her hair
pull
her to me
knowing
that’s always
what she wants
(D. James)
this night passes
through me
like a black
knife
no way
around it
I must
stay up
’til dawn
breaks me
only then
will I fall
to sleep
(D. James)
spent the night
on the surface
of sleep
worrying about
my own
self interest
come the morning
hungry, ornery
horny, and angry
there was
nothing to do
but fight
maybe I’m not
cut out
for this
relationship thing
(D. James)
Up late
listening
to Hindi singers
Images of trains
and the rains
Send me
to sleep
with words
I do not understand
but the feeling
is there
(D. James)
darkness chill
and the forgetting
bring back
something sweet
or innocent
it doesn’t matter
as long as it comes
before the fall
to sleep
(D. James)
The world
disappears
Everything goes
black
and silent
This lasts
six or seven
hours
Then my eyes
open and the world
is remade
in an instant
(D. James)
At the end
of the day
when there is
nothing more
to be done
except crawl into bed
give over to sleep
I still fight
with myself
to finish one more thing
before I admit
defeat
(D. James)
