until the dawn

it is the nights
that are most difficult

waiting
wanting

for the morning
that brings your voice

it is the nights
that are long

sleepless
restless​

hoping for a world
where 1+1=1

it is the nights
it is the nights
it is the nights

when darkness
grips my heart

renders me incapable

until the dawn
returns you to me

d. james

just once I’d like to find what I came here for…

forgetting that thing
I was going to check

wandering around the web
lost in its tangential branches

late night
grows later
as internet minutes
never correspond to clock time

eyes close
a finger rests
on a repeating key
zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

(D James)

suite for frustration in D minor

stuck
in a one horse town
that is the dark matter
of the mind

worrying the night
like an old string of beads

cold wind
blows darkness around

til the dawn
which
brings no warmth
or understanding

just another prelude
to another night

and on and on
until the ride stops

(D James)

to sleep no more

staying up late
to watch the moon
crawl across the sky

the darkness
filled with possibilities
that the sun washes away in the morning

makes me want to hold on to this moment
embracing the night and never letting go

I don’t want
to go to sleep
tonight

but there’s no way
to hold back the sun
or stop the coming day

so for now
I’ll rest a few hours
then wrestle with the demons
in the daylight

until the sun goes down
and another moon comes up
when the possibilities arise
in the shadows of night

(D. James)

searching in the dark

darkness falls
sudden and silent
like the end of days
or the beginning

the evening goes deaf
as the black crawls
across the sky
into and through spaces unseen

dots of light
on a velvet canvas
and the new moon rises
reflecting nothing

on the other side of the world
it is winter
and a new day breaks

standing at the shore
uncertain
unready
unsteady

inviting the unknown
or futilely looking
for a place to hide

we either step
into the ocean of fear
or it will crash over us

will we be washed away
or cleanse our spirit

break our heart
or break us open
to find a deeper sense
of who we are

(D James)

silly tired

not enough
sleep tired

too many
cigarettes tired

tired all the
time tired

two in the morning
writing
poetry tired

brain tired
road tired
time for bed tired

over-tired

wishing I didn’t
have to get up
and go to
work tired

nodding off
with my fingers
on the
keyboard tired

zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

(D. James)

urban scrawl

this thing strung together making no sense yet kept writing these words and not even thinking letting them flow and trying to keep up like in life when everything moves at the speed of sound and people keep moving and I seem to be in the way, slower than everyone else feeling tired and left behind it all seems a bit too much maybe I’m still on west coast time or it could be that I’m no longer interested in the rushing and running, the pushing and shoving, shouldering my way through life trying to get in front of the person in front of me assholes behind me kicking at the backs of my shoes, knocking them off skittering across the platform as the E train rushes out of the station and the next group of followers gathers in the station, and on to the next thing, the one after the one right before this one, how can anyone make sense of the world anymore when people start conversations in e-mail and end them in text, and no one, no one, answers the phone any longer, why can’t this rant end? because there are no endings and no beginnings, there’s just all this rushing around in the middle and when I go, and when you go, there will still be 6 billion and more on the planet to take up where we left off, and there is no reason for it, no meaning – it all is and it all isn’t and we’re here to sort out what it means to us now, and then we’re gone. And the sun will rise and the sun will set, and the sun will rise and the sun will set …

(D. James)

thinking thoughts of shouldn’t sayings on Sundays

whispers
of things
I meant to
say

when long ago
I watched
the sun rise

now the moon
is full

and my heart
sinks

the demons
smoke cigarettes
behind the gate

waiting
in darkness
to be let out

(D. James)

before it’s too late

let’s run away
she’d say

find
a place
where they
can’t find us

let’s run away
someplace warm
where the sun
always shines

find
that spot
where time
stands still

let’s run away
before we’re too old

let’s run away
before this life
kills us

let’s run away
let’s run away
let’s run away

at least until
the morning comes

(D. James)

after the end

the power of night
the black and white

lithe and still
darkness falls

bringing the final
moment

nowhere to go
from here
but to the end

fast and painless
eyes open
but the light gone
out

those years
gathered up
then scattered
by the wind

a billion specks
of light and sound
swallowed
by darkness

then nothing

not even
the black

(D. James)

should have been over awhile ago

here’s where
we get to that part
of the night

closer to dawn
than dusk

when the cars
rubber by
less frequently

and your
eyelids
will not
cooperate

everyone else
is long down

nothing
but the hum
of the refrigerator
to keep you company

and that last car
rolling past your window

won’t be another till dawn

best to wait for it
under the covers

if you’re lucky
it’ll go by
unnoticed

if you’re not
it won’t

(D. James)

confused? me too

up all night
looking
for something
that doesn’t exist

something
I don’t want
to see in me

avoiding
myself
by looking
everywhere
other than here

trying to get
out of my head
when I should
be in bed

another late
night

another wasted
morning

couldn’t I get
the same result
in another way

or another result
in the same way

it’s all the same
in the end

(D. James)

searching for dreams (don’t do no good in the real world)

in bed
curled around
her sleeping self

I think
this is what
I’ve always
wanted

to whisper
in an ear

that she’s
my one
and only one

but I don’t
realizing
that’s not me
that’s not her

it’s just an idea
in my head
from a song
Taupin wrote
about one of his
ex-wives

and what
does that
tell you

(D. James)

what will I do tomorrow without you tonight

haven’t slept
in my own bed
all week

now it’s later
than late
and I’m faced
with the aloneness
of being alone
in this bed
that’s just
a mattress
on the floor

I miss
your green
eyes
your red
hair
your pale
skin
your
attitude

the way you look
straight at me
in the morning
like a child
who has yet
to learn fear
or know the difference
between themself
and another

and your laugh
pure abandon
in that ha ha ha
the complete unbridled
expression of joy

how will I make it
through the night
and worse
what will I look forward to
in the morning

(D. James)

burn for you

wanting
to burn
for another

feel
her missing
from the sheets
when she’s away

be
in the warmth
of a gaze

wake
in the silence
before sunrise

stare
at her body
lying in wait

get lost
in the smell
of her hair

pull
her to me
knowing
that’s always
what she wants

(D. James)

this is why I’m alone

spent the night
on the surface
of sleep

worrying about
my own
self interest

come the morning
hungry, ornery
horny, and angry

there was
nothing to do
but fight

maybe I’m not
cut out
for this
relationship thing

(D. James)

the way it was

tattooed girls
drunken boys
and cigarette smoke
everywhere

warm nights
with pimps
and hookers
working the streets

this was
the way it was
before cell phones
atm’s and the internet

when you got
on the subway
with a token
and a phone call
cost a dime

nothing wrong
with how it is now
it’s just nice to think back
now and again
to a simpler time

(D. James)

Winter Beach, CA

raging sky
large distant clouds
like mountains
across the blue-green ocean

there’s that part
of the late afternoon
when we wish the day
would stop
take notice of itself
before descending
into another chilly night

(D. James)

power of an addiction

It is said
only the fallen
know the true depths
could you be
one of the rare ones
so often imagined?

Longer than any river
the emotional road we travel

More torturous
than your beauty
this lustful addiction
that can be
briefly assuaged
but never ever cured

And where
have the gods
that made you gone?

Is it true
you destroyed them
so there would be no equal?

I am a dark knight
sent on a failed errand
for a now dead king

riding through endless nights
searching for some
unexplainable something
that exists for a moment
then disappears
leaving only memories
and the faint tint
of lipstick on my glove

I need something beautiful
to destroy me
someone intelligent enough
to match me

I thought I heard you calling

(D. James)