fear fear

fearing fear
it morphs
into pain

fearing pain
it morphs
into anger

forgetting compassion
until there is nothing left
but rage

and this I fear
more than all the rest

(D James)

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3500 miles

the time
between here
and there

from you to me
and back again

a journey
leading
to us

feeling
the fear
diminish
like distance

when we are
together
at last

(D. James)

pressure

Filled
with fear

not knowing
what the future
holds

worried
I can’t
won’t
make it

That somehow
after all this
time

I’ve finally come
to the end

no more
tricks
up my
sleeve

time to pay
the piper

feeling terribly
inadequate

needing to
reinvent
rethink
shift

(D. James)

This is what you don’t see because I don’t show it

I fret
am filled
with fear

as if
poured
into me

an endless pitcher
overflowing
into my mouth

filling me from
toes to teeth

I choke
cannot breathe

Am I doing
the right thing

should I have done
this or that
before or after
with her or him or it

should I not have

will there be enough
money
time
love
friendship
sex

What will become
of me
in time

before I turn
to dust

(D. James)

defenses down

come to me now
in the dead
of night

so that I might
hold you tight

come to me now
let me whisper
in your ear

and feel you near
knowing no fear

come to me now
so I can touch
your skin

let me drink
you in like raw gin

make me believe
in a god
and heaven
and all the angels
who sing

crush me
with your look
silence me
in a kiss

hold me
until the sun rises
and tomorrow comes
like sweet pain

(D. James)