I’m so good
at making it all
about me
that even when
you think you’re
talking about you
it’s still about me
do you do that too
or is it just me?
(D. James)
Category Archives: bad sex and bad breath
the last poet
When the night
is over
and the final
cigarette
has been smoked
what will
the last poet
say
After all
the evoked emotion
failed relationships
dead boyfriends
abortions
abusive parents
drugs and alcohol
laughter
and pain
have been spilled
out
in some cases
artfully vomited
what could
this last poet
have to say
How to summarize
this night
these words
life sentences
bad grammar
poetic license
driven to excess
How to follow
the girl who told
of losing all her hair
the guy who
crashed his car
the gay biker
who longs
to be dominated
by a she-wolf
of the SS
the boy
who lost
his virginity
so late
the girl
who lost hers
so early
the words
of so many
who want change
yet stay
right where they are
What can this last
motherfucker
have to say
that can top the
triumphs
tragedies
surprises
sorrows
What will
the last poet
leave us with
as we file
out of this
basement grotto
into the light
of dawn
Do we expect
too much
as he steps to the microphone
the crowd
too drunk
to hush
even the white
of the spot light
seems a bit dingy
as he steps into it’s shaft
The last poet
will speak the
last poem
and we will leave
to sleep it off
Whatever he says
will be the final word
so our expectations
are far too high
The last poet
poor fucker
has nowhere to go
but down
unless he’s more genius
than genius itself
more brilliant
than all of us
The last poet
clears his throat
touches his lips
to the mic
the wait
has us spellbound
and half-hopeful
Even so
when we wake
in the afternoon
hungover and
full of piss
will we remember
any of this
(D. James)
idealization
just because
you want her
doesn’t mean
she feels
the same
or even notices
you’re alive
(D. James)
stubborn lazy do-nothing fucker
like a dog
that won’t come
a bird
that refuses
to sing
or a cat
that won’t hunt
what if
I just sat here
all damn day
listening to Nina
the sound
of all that pain
washing over me
like rain
(D. James)
pretty girl moves a room
she notices
the men who
turn their heads
just in time
the ones who look
but don’t want
to be obvious
trying to be
cool
but she
catches them
anyway
often sees
heads moving
to the left
or right
as if
they were
only observing
the room
the one
they’ve been
sitting in
for hours now
funny
how that
keeps happening
(D. James)
1950 style
where are
the hula girls
and the umbrella drinks
the smoke-filled
club
with the little
tables
and white linen
it already happened
born too late
the party moved on
damn I hate that
(D. James)
better get to it
waiting
for the keys
to speak
why don’t they
type something
must I do
everything
around here
I thought
this writing thing
would be easier
people talk about
poems that write
themselves
where can I
get me
one of those
they promised
life would be
more fun
on a Mac
but I still
have to do
all the damn thinking
(D. James)
this is why I’m alone
spent the night
on the surface
of sleep
worrying about
my own
self interest
come the morning
hungry, ornery
horny, and angry
there was
nothing to do
but fight
maybe I’m not
cut out
for this
relationship thing
(D. James)
what if I said I knew it all?
Stayed online
all night long
Wrote down a few
words
But can’t tell me
a damn thing
Cause I
know it all
and nothing
nothing
nothing
at the same
time
(D. James)
omission missive
I don’t say
what’s on
my mind
When
it’s all
shit
So keep
my mouth
shut
Because
always
everyone
wants to help
And sometimes
I just need to be
where I’m at
Got it?
(D, James)
to be young again
high heeled shoes
short black skirt
smooth legs
drive the herky-jerky
old men crazy
scratching and blinking
shaking their balding heads
remembering a time they had
wishing they weren’t
who they are
for one more day
before she walks
away
leaving them with
the faintest scent
of perfume
a memory
of a memory
lingers
(D. James)
shy
what comes between us
when we’re apart?
how can I let you in
from an arm’s length away?
averted glances
thwarted hopes
life’s just too risky
when I take every little thing
to mean something about me
(D. James)
what if you weren’t there
billy blew
his brains out
and no one noticed
billy blew
his brains out
and no one cared
billy blew
his brains out
and you ask
who the hell
is billy anyway?
well, what if
billy
were you
(D. James)
live it
what to do
today
when I realize
my life
is one day
shorter
than yesterday
and tomorrow
is shorter still
best be grateful
for all the tomorrows
I can
while living
like there isn’t
another one coming
(D. James)
player piano
it wells up
into your heart
dies between there
and your throat
that longing
that passion
to live
to feel
moved
open
raw
keys
black and white
tears
clear as rain
play it again
but never tell
what it means
never put words
to beauty so soft
and lovely
(D. James)
this way and that
Thoughts
without discernible
patterns
scattered across
my mind
It’s a good thing
I don’t drive
based on my
feelings
(D. James)
I bite
spitting venom
out of fear
attacking
like a cornered
dog
to a threat
that is not there
unable
unwilling
to see any other
option
words meant
to cut
to hurt
to bleed you
all so you
won’t go away
or
to make you prove
what you say
(D. James)
power of an addiction
It is said
only the fallen
know the true depths
could you be
one of the rare ones
so often imagined?
Longer than any river
the emotional road we travel
More torturous
than your beauty
this lustful addiction
that can be
briefly assuaged
but never ever cured
And where
have the gods
that made you gone?
Is it true
you destroyed them
so there would be no equal?
I am a dark knight
sent on a failed errand
for a now dead king
riding through endless nights
searching for some
unexplainable something
that exists for a moment
then disappears
leaving only memories
and the faint tint
of lipstick on my glove
I need something beautiful
to destroy me
someone intelligent enough
to match me
I thought I heard you calling
(D. James)
somebody did something here
Broken glass
from some minor crime
strewn across the road
And someone won’t
be happy in the morning
(D. James)
where’d it go
Bourbon and cigarettes
late-night hookers
down dark alleys
What doesn’t kill me
costs more than
just money
Turning fantasy into reality
shaking with adrenaline
getting kicks from anticipation
feeling more powerful
than any man should
Someday
I’ll get off
this merry-go-round
but I can’t seem to find
“someday” on the calendar
Maybe it falls on
February 30th
two-thousand-and-never
(D. James)
what do I know?
(for Ian A.)
What if the old man
isn’t wandering or lonely
What if he has
all the answers
and knows it’s pointless
to say anything
Now who do you
feel sorry for?
(D. James)
the four corners of love and belonging
See the tall girl
standing on the corner
a cell phone to her ear
Oblivious to the traffic
rushing by
a boy
talking in her ear
He tells her
“I love you”
but she doesn’t
believe it
She turns west
and hears him say
he can’t live without her
She turns east
and he says
please don’t leave
When she looks down
at the ground
is that south?
Up at the sky
north?
He keeps talking
pleading
wheedling
whining
but she stopped listening
long ago
Behind dark sunglasses
she quints at the bright sunlight
of a Los Angeles afternoon
It’s after she throws the phone
as it skips along the hot tar
and is run over a few times
she realizes
her mistake all along
has been looking for love
from without instead of
from within
(D. James)
pick a card, any card …
The choices
we make
define our lives
Saying this
but doing that
Wanting one thing
then following another
Looking for some truth
beyond ourselves
when all the time
it’s right where
we left it
In our wallet
next to the photograph
of the one we love
(D. James)
Do we expect too much from our heroes or have they just let us down
The writer
that doesn’t write
The poet
that doesn’t poe
The savior
that doesn’t save
On a road
that goes nowhere
leads to nothing
and ends when it’s over
[queue music]
(D. James)
so I’ve been told
If I did
as I was told
twist and shout
rattle and hum
would it be annoying
or would you come
along
If I did
as I was told
there’d be
no poetry
at least not
from me
If I did
as I was told
I might remember
to care
that everyone
has an opinion
and some are quick
to share
If I did
as I was told
If only I ever
did as I was told
(D. James)
