Tag Archives: searching

why doesn’t matter

Posted by D. James on

the rain doesn’t ask
why it falls

the sun doesn’t ask
why it shines

the tree doesn’t ask
why it leaves

nothing
in all the world
asks why

except us

because we think
what we think
matters

and it does
but only to us

so what if
we let our thoughts
fall away like rain

what if
we shined like the sun

what if
we let our false-selves go
like leaves from a tree

what if
we stopped asking
why

what if
we just admit
we don’t know
and never will

and what if
we didn’t
make it mean anything

(D James)

life in 75 words

Posted by D. James on

waiting
for something
to happen

like life
or something similar

wanting
to be free
from fear

or at least
push through

needing
to take action

but bored with
the supposed options

stifled
by the thoughts
of past failures

though there’s nothing
to be done about them now

avoiding
hard work
and difficult
conversations

instead
I’ll write
and smoke cigarettes
make a life
out of words

because in the end
that’s all any of us
really have

(D James)

letting go of yesterday

Posted by D. James on

woke up this morning
in yesterday’s undone
tasks

as if under a pile of stones
at the bottom of the ocean

dragging my head
out of bed
caught up in a web
of thinking about
broken promises
and all the
“should haves”
that I didn’t

and today looks like
another repeat of that show
with the same commercial breaks

“and now a word from our sponsor -
are you tired, listless, rundown?
need something to pick you up?”

no

what’s needed is to let go
be ok with right now
do what can be done
leave yesterday in yesterday
and make today anew

(D James)

knowing this won’t get you here

Posted by D. James on

what’s it like?
what’s it feel like?

rarely
what it is

so we talk about

as if a description
of a thing
is the thing
itself

this isn’t how I feel
these are the thoughts
about how I feel

judgements
on a theme

proximity
of an approximation

but what is it
moment by moment
this thing we call
life

I don’t know
but I can tell you
about it

for hours
and get nowhere

or instead
keep silent
find the moment
in the moment

because it’s happening
it’s always happening
even when we’re struggling
to understand
or explain it

it’s happening
right now
whether we’re aware
or not
whether we understand
or not
whether we agree
or not

it’s happening
even when we’re
not here

(D James)

messages

Posted by D. James on

what if
there were
messages

lessons
something
to learn

what if
there were
spirits whispering
in your ear

what if
you could hear
the sound
of an angel’s heartbeat
in the dreams of a lover

would you rather
drudge along
talking about
what’s impossible

or
spend your days
listening for light
in the flutter of a bird’s wings

(D James)

urban scrawl

Posted by D. James on

this thing strung together making no sense yet kept writing these words and not even thinking letting them flow and trying to keep up like in life when everything moves at the speed of sound and people keep moving and I seem to be in the way, slower than everyone else feeling tired and left behind it all seems a bit too much maybe I’m still on west coast time or it could be that I’m no longer interested in the rushing and running, the pushing and shoving, shouldering my way through life trying to get in front of the person in front of me assholes behind me kicking at the backs of my shoes, knocking them off skittering across the platform as the E train rushes out of the station and the next group of followers gathers in the station, and on to the next thing, the one after the one right before this one, how can anyone make sense of the world anymore when people start conversations in e-mail and end them in text, and no one, no one, answers the phone any longer, why can’t this rant end? because there are no endings and no beginnings, there’s just all this rushing around in the middle and when I go, and when you go, there will still be 6 billion and more on the planet to take up where we left off, and there is no reason for it, no meaning – it all is and it all isn’t and we’re here to sort out what it means to us now, and then we’re gone. And the sun will rise and the sun will set, and the sun will rise and the sun will set …

(D. James)

whatever you do … don’t

Posted by D. James on

don’t take this
away

it’s the last
small joy
we have

like a slender shaft
of sunlight
through the basement
window

don’t take it
away

we won’t
know what
to do then

waiting,
like refugees
under a rain-soaked
tarp

hoping,
for what was
what might be

so please
don’t take it
away

they’ll be
nothing left
to say

(D. James)

caught on a thought

Posted by D. James on

like bits of paper
blown by the wind

which ones will I catch
in the net of my mind
hold onto for dear life

which ones will I let fly
laughing at what nonsense
I can come up with

what if they were all
just passing

like a small spark
or bolt of lightning

electric and fleeting
shinning a momentary light
then gone

instead of being turned
into the truth

(D. James)

nothing and nothing at all

Posted by D. James on

nothing
no thing
no nothing
no

begin
at the middle
go back
to the end

then circle round
to finish
at the beginning

once you figure
it out
let me know

I’ll be waiting

(D James)

over before you know it

Posted by D. James on

where does it
go
the time

seems like it
used to crawl

now I lose
track
of the days

and memories
are like stories
someone once told

I’m not even
certain
I’ve not written

this poem
before

(D James)

what are we

Posted by D. James on

light and dark
laughter and tears

never and always
right and wrong

bone and dust
blood and guts

intransigent and flexible
solid and liquid

everything
and
nothing

(D James)

more questions than you know what to do with

Posted by D. James on

white sheet
blank paper

and the
screen in your head
goes black

who ever said
you can’t get there from here

didn’t know where you were
to begin with

so how did they know
where you’d end up

(D. James)

coming together

Posted by D. James on

waking with
thoughts of you

longing for
next time

dreaming
of the day

when the distance
is measured
by the length
of a room

instead of
the miles
of a country

(D. James)

contradiction of terms

Posted by D. James on

messy business
this thing
called
life

no straight lines
or perfect circles

unchartable
unpredictable
erratic

like a riff
beauty
between
sour notes

brief
unyielding
amazing
painful
joyous

full of love
and contradictions

it couldn’t be
any other way
so why look for
what isn’t there

(D. James)

following a path

Posted by D. James on

years ago
skinny kid
thought he knew
everything

full of bravado
and half-believing

how is it
we lived
through all that
and have come
to this

desire
still tugs
at us

reaching across
the years
the miles

our lives
converging

this path set
before we walked
upon it

no idea
where it leads
only where we’ve
been

maybe
this time
we’ll get it right

(D. James)

rushing to the end

Posted by D. James on

thinking
you want
what you can’t
have

and knowing
does you no
good

trying
so hard
to make
it all
work out

rushing
to the end
is not the best
plan

letting
it play out
taking
the opportunities
as they come

leaving
behind
what doesn’t
work

seemingly
a more difficult
path
but ultimately
you get there

Only to find out
there is no there
to get to

(D. James)

wanting only waits

Posted by D. James on

telegraphing
overt messages
through the ether

like talking
to you through
glass

none
but you
knowing their
true meaning

I wonder
what is
to be done

or should
I simply
be more
patient

waiting for
a reply
not an answer

for now
that would
be enough

(D. James)

it’s alright when I shut up and listen …

Posted by D. James on

waiting
wanting
you

just you

but this damn waiting
feeling spun out
lost

knowing you’re there
somewhere

too far

then I close
my eyes
and listen

can see
your smile
almost hear
your laugh

feel you
right here
with me

(D. James)

JFK – 7 am

Posted by D. James on

unfinished sentences
all these things
left unsaid

a hundred words
stale phrases
none of them
enough

talk all damn day
and I’d still
never get
to what it is
that pulls at me
makes me want to stay

should have tried
should have missed that flight
should be there with you now
should stop trying to make sense
of any of this

because all I want
is to be
where I’m not

all I want
is to be
where
I am
not

(D. James)

old flame same heat

Posted by D. James on

a cold wind
comes through
like longing

how many years
before we’ll be together
my love

will death
take me
before I see
your eyes
once more

feel your skin
breathe you in

is there no
relief from this
yearning

is this to be
yet another
unfinished story

all those miles
all those years
all these trials
all these tears

don’t we deserve
a break in this life
or do we have to wait
until the next one

(D. James)

you could call it that … yeah

Posted by D. James on

can’t eat
can’t sleep
can’t stop thinking
of you

waiting for a call
e-mail
chat
text

something
to let me know
you’re thinking
of me
when I’m thinking
of you

knowing
it’s no good
being like this

but doing it
anyway

’cause there are
no answers
only questions

so why not ask
the same one
over and over

(D. James)

this doesn’t happen

Posted by D. James on

to live
for a great love

something imagined
but never attained

a moment
in time
regained

an improbable
second chance

do you defy
the odds?

or is it all
rash insanity
fools folly

destined
to self-destruct

in the end
do we care?

not if we are driven
by our desire
think
this is our
destiny

perhaps then
we make it so
or burn in the fire
set so long ago
suddenly too close

(D. James)