the sun doesn’t ask
why it shines

the tree doesn’t ask
why it leaves

nothing
in all the world
asks why

except us

because we think
what we think
matters

and it does
but only to us

so what if
we let our thoughts
fall away like rain

what if
we shined like the sun

what if
we let our false-selves go
like leaves from a tree

what if
we stopped asking
why

what if
we just admit
we don’t know
and never will

and what if
we didn’t
make it mean anything

(D James)

like life
or something similar

wanting
to be free
from fear

or at least
push through

needing
to take action

but bored with
the supposed options

stifled
by the thoughts
of past failures

though there’s nothing
to be done about them now

avoiding
hard work
and difficult
conversations

instead
I’ll write
and smoke cigarettes
make a life
out of words

because in the end
that’s all any of us
really have

(D James)

as if under a pile of stones
at the bottom of the ocean

dragging my head
out of bed
caught up in a web
of thinking about
broken promises
and all the
“should haves”
that I didn’t

and today looks like
another repeat of that show
with the same commercial breaks

“and now a word from our sponsor -
are you tired, listless, rundown?
need something to pick you up?”

no

what’s needed is to let go
be ok with right now
do what can be done
leave yesterday in yesterday
and make today anew

(D James)

and everywhere are sounds
and smells
and crowds

densely packed trains
rumble the ground
carrying the millions
under the river

then
suddenly
bursting from the depths
on the other side

the blinding sun
sinking behind the skyline

there is nowhere quite like here
though some people will tell you otherwise

but this city can crush you
or make you
like no other

and once you’ve experienced it
whether for a day
or the rest of your life

you can never
forget it

(D James)

what can be written
that we haven’t
already read

how can we move forward
with the same worn out words

where is the language
to speak what we cannot hear 
write what hasn’t been read
and bring us through this day
and all the ones that follow

(D James)

and phone calls
were a dime
if you could find
a pay phone that worked

I remember when cabs
wouldn’t leave Manhattan
for the other boroughs
and street lights
were few

I remember when
computers were so big
they had rooms
of their own
and no one
had one at home

I remember when
you had to make the bank
by 3 pm
and never missed
a Friday visit to the teller
or you were without cash
all weekend
and people wrote checks
bought stamps
and mailed their bills

and if this
were written then
I wouldn’t be able
to share it with you

(D James)

rarely
what it is

so we talk about

as if a description
of a thing
is the thing
itself

this isn’t how I feel
these are the thoughts
about how I feel

judgements
on a theme

proximity
of an approximation

but what is it
moment by moment
this thing we call
life

I don’t know
but I can tell you
about it

for hours
and get nowhere

or instead
keep silent
find the moment
in the moment

because it’s happening
it’s always happening
even when we’re struggling
to understand
or explain it

it’s happening
right now
whether we’re aware
or not
whether we understand
or not
whether we agree
or not

it’s happening
even when we’re
not here

(D James)

wanting
to get to
the end

everything
else seems like
wasting time

all this
waiting around

“what time
is it not
now”

(D James)

worrying about goals
and hitting targets
making my numbers
for the month

this can’t be
why I’m here

this isn’t my life
being in debt
and fretting
over back taxes

my life
is about art
and culture
and friends
and family
and love
mostly love

my life
is for fun
and adventure
and taking big risks

my life
is to be used up
so that I don’t die
leaving behind
just debt and struggle
but something
of greater value
than that

something
much more lasting
or at least more fun

(D James)

erase
every word

remove
the thoughts

quash
the heart

obliterate
the soul

until
there is nothing
left on the page

(D James)