rushing
to get somewhere
do something
finish
wanting
to get to
the end
everything
else seems like
wasting time
all this
waiting around
“what time
is it not
now”
(D James)
Category Archives: d. james
this can’t be it, can it?
and this is not
my life,
is it?
worrying about goals
and hitting targets
making my numbers
for the month
this can’t be
why I’m here
this isn’t my life
being in debt
and fretting
over back taxes
my life
is about art
and culture
and friends
and family
and love
mostly love
my life
is for fun
and adventure
and taking big risks
my life
is to be used up
so that I don’t die
leaving behind
just debt and struggle
but something
of greater value
than that
something
much more lasting
or at least more fun
(D James)
poetic demolition
begin
at the end
erase
every word
remove
the thoughts
quash
the heart
obliterate
the soul
until
there is nothing
left on the page
(D James)
messages
what if
there were
messages
lessons
something
to learn
what if
there were
spirits whispering
in your ear
what if
you could hear
the sound
of an angel’s heartbeat
in the dreams of a lover
would you rather
drudge along
talking about
what’s impossible
or
spend your days
listening for light
in the flutter of a bird’s wings
(D James)
silly tired
not enough
sleep tired
too many
cigarettes tired
tired all the
time tired
two in the morning
writing
poetry tired
brain tired
road tired
time for bed tired
over-tired
wishing I didn’t
have to get up
and go to
work tired
nodding off
with my fingers
on the
keyboard tired
zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz
(D. James)
urban scrawl
this thing strung together making no sense yet kept writing these words and not even thinking letting them flow and trying to keep up like in life when everything moves at the speed of sound and people keep moving and I seem to be in the way, slower than everyone else feeling tired and left behind it all seems a bit too much maybe I’m still on west coast time or it could be that I’m no longer interested in the rushing and running, the pushing and shoving, shouldering my way through life trying to get in front of the person in front of me assholes behind me kicking at the backs of my shoes, knocking them off skittering across the platform as the E train rushes out of the station and the next group of followers gathers in the station, and on to the next thing, the one after the one right before this one, how can anyone make sense of the world anymore when people start conversations in e-mail and end them in text, and no one, no one, answers the phone any longer, why can’t this rant end? because there are no endings and no beginnings, there’s just all this rushing around in the middle and when I go, and when you go, there will still be 6 billion and more on the planet to take up where we left off, and there is no reason for it, no meaning – it all is and it all isn’t and we’re here to sort out what it means to us now, and then we’re gone. And the sun will rise and the sun will set, and the sun will rise and the sun will set …
(D. James)
thinking thoughts of shouldn’t sayings on Sundays
whispers
of things
I meant to
say
when long ago
I watched
the sun rise
now the moon
is full
and my heart
sinks
the demons
smoke cigarettes
behind the gate
waiting
in darkness
to be let out
(D. James)
whatever you do … don’t
don’t take this
away
it’s the last
small joy
we have
like a slender shaft
of sunlight
through the basement
window
don’t take it
away
we won’t
know what
to do then
waiting,
like refugees
under a rain-soaked
tarp
hoping,
for what was
what might be
so please
don’t take it
away
they’ll be
nothing left
to say
(D. James)
before it’s too late
let’s run away
she’d say
find
a place
where they
can’t find us
let’s run away
someplace warm
where the sun
always shines
find
that spot
where time
stands still
let’s run away
before we’re too old
let’s run away
before this life
kills us
let’s run away
let’s run away
let’s run away
at least until
the morning comes
(D. James)
after the end
the power of night
the black and white
lithe and still
darkness falls
bringing the final
moment
nowhere to go
from here
but to the end
fast and painless
eyes open
but the light gone
out
those years
gathered up
then scattered
by the wind
a billion specks
of light and sound
swallowed
by darkness
then nothing
not even
the black
(D. James)
caught on a thought
like bits of paper
blown by the wind
which ones will I catch
in the net of my mind
hold onto for dear life
which ones will I let fly
laughing at what nonsense
I can come up with
what if they were all
just passing
like a small spark
or bolt of lightning
electric and fleeting
shinning a momentary light
then gone
instead of being turned
into the truth
(D. James)
nothing and nothing at all
nothing
no thing
no nothing
no
begin
at the middle
go back
to the end
then circle round
to finish
at the beginning
once you figure
it out
let me know
I’ll be waiting
(D James)
over before you know it
where does it
go
the time
seems like it
used to crawl
now I lose
track
of the days
and memories
are like stories
someone once told
I’m not even
certain
I’ve not written
this poem
before
(D James)
life in the city of cities
the subway rises
from the mouth
of darkness
pulling cars across
metal track
to the top
of the mountain
the skyline
like a picture
postcard
at sunset
a symphony
at full tilt
a mass of steel
and glass
thousands
of lighted squares
and twinkling
red lights
reminds you
that this city
in its ebb and flow
was here before you arrived
and will remain long
after you are gone
(D James)
and so goes the morning
staring
out the window
watching the light change
bare trees
drag shadows
across gray
roof-tops
sunlight glints
off passing cars
the day goes on
with or without us
(D James)
climbing the mountain
the blank page
stares back at me
silently mocking
my attempts
to scribble
something
of weight
the blank page
like a snow-covered
mountain
challenges my ability
to communicate
and whisper-laughs
at my thoughts of words
until I say
to the blank page
“ok, you write something”
then there is silence
and I can finally settle down
to begin the work of stringing words
together into something that makes sense
to someone
somewhere
(D. James)
what are we
light and dark
laughter and tears
never and always
right and wrong
bone and dust
blood and guts
intransigent and flexible
solid and liquid
everything
and
nothing
(D James)
the sound in between
there’s a moment
between the notes
when what lingers
is the dying vibration
of a sound
before the next key
is struck
when the world
makes sense
and life is found
in the silence
(D. James)
more questions than you know what to do with
white sheet
blank paper
and the
screen in your head
goes black
who ever said
you can’t get there from here
didn’t know where you were
to begin with
so how did they know
where you’d end up
(D. James)
this is a test
this is a test
there is really
nothing
to say
if this were
an actual poem
we would tell you
how to feel
about it
or at least
express something
worthy of an
emotional response
(D. James)
putting it together
and and and
adding to what
was said
and and and
bringing together
disparate thoughts
and and and
an endless string
of ideas
and and and
where I’ve been
and and and
where I’m going
(D. James)
fear fear
fearing fear
it morphs
into pain
fearing pain
it morphs
into anger
forgetting compassion
until there is nothing left
but rage
and this I fear
more than all the rest
(D James)
wandering through to the end
lost under a sea
of unfocused thoughts
mind-numbing wandering
through disconnected
days of fear and self-loathing
wondering
where it went wrong
where I went wrong
feeling out of place
out of time
out of my mind
like a character
in an unfinished
Beckett play
waiting for something
like life
to begin
unable to go on
with no choice
but to go on
immobile
immovable
immature
with all the courage
of a well-fed
old house cat
wanting to know
how it all ends
when I should be thinking
where to begin
(D James)
dark places
my pen falls
from the table
into a dark shadow
kicking
to catch it
with the side
of my shoe
spinning
it skitters
into the light
much like my thoughts
on this deathly cold day
(D. James)
loss of balance
it could break,
a mind,
from the pressure
all those thoughts
of what I should
be doing
what I did
wrong
asking why
the grace and ease
so longed for
seeming far off
impossible
hoping
for change
and then
don’t want
the kind that arrives
realizing
finally
it is not an answer
I seek
but a way to live
to think thoughts
and take action
generate some
confidence
take some
responsibility
for my life
because if I don’t
who the hell will
(D. James)
