I want
to write
on the walls
spell out
all the
ideas
emotions
color
outside the lines
black pen markings
beginning in one corner
not stopping until I’ve planned out my whole fucking life
filling ten rooms with the words of my mind
the work of my soul
not stopping until it is all out of me
like some monster some wild thing
only then can I lay down to sleep
knowing when I wake it will all
still be there
but exposed out in the open
nothing to hide
(D. James)
here’s where
we get to that part
of the night
closer to dawn
than dusk
when the cars
rubber by
less frequently
and your
eyelids
will not
cooperate
everyone else
is long down
nothing
but the hum
of the refrigerator
to keep you company
and that last car
rolling past your window
won’t be another till dawn
best to wait for it
under the covers
if you’re lucky
it’ll go by
unnoticed
if you’re not
it won’t
(D. James)
up all night
looking
for something
that doesn’t exist
something
I don’t want
to see in me
avoiding
myself
by looking
everywhere
other than here
trying to get
out of my head
when I should
be in bed
another late
night
another wasted
morning
couldn’t I get
the same result
in another way
or another result
in the same way
it’s all the same
in the end
(D. James)
so much
I don’t
understand
used to think
I knew everything
or could
at least
fake it
now
I don’t know
is often
my answer
but I’ll make something up
if it makes you feel better
(D. James)
waiting
the night out
feeling
my way
in the dark
hoping
the morning
won’t come
this one time
keeping
the fantasy
of being with you
longer than just tonight
alive for one more hour
as light
lines
the horizon
I take
one last look
and like Eurydice
you vanish before my eyes
(D. James)
wanting
to be lost
in a look
hands
on
skin
mouth
on
mouth
feel your
heat
wishing
it were
more than
this
but taking
what I can
get
(D. James)
the moment
just before
the moment
almost as good
as the moment
itself
you can
hear it
tensile
stretching
anticipation
to the point
right before
all hell
breaks loose
(D. James)
evening comes
in darker
and darker
hues of blue
end of day
pink clouds
bloom red
then fade
into darkness
as night falls
upon LA
black cloth
with pinholes
of light
the city,
a brighter
reflection
of above
(D. James)
there are times
like now
when there is
nothing to say
and so
I say
what’s
right there
” … “
(D. James)
you know
what I mean
when we talk
about the pain
how it keeps
you up
at night
and all the talk
doesn’t help
there is no cure
for being human
we either
feel it
or resist
it’s all the same
in the end
(D. James)
in bed
curled around
her sleeping self
I think
this is what
I’ve always
wanted
to whisper
in an ear
that she’s
my one
and only one
but I don’t
realizing
that’s not me
that’s not her
it’s just an idea
in my head
from a song
Taupin wrote
about one of his
ex-wives
and what
does that
tell you
(D. James)
there are
all these words
and feelings
and messy things
spilled out
on the floor
like blood
seems there’s
no place
to put them all
can’t swallow them
try stuffing them
back into your gut
but they
no longer fit
feels like
you’ll die without
them
seems like
you’ll die with
them
where will you …
how will you …
what will you …
why would you …
go on?
(D. James)
and I want
all of it
give me
what you can’t
show me
what you won’t
tell me
what you fear
teach me
things you don’t know
you know
go beyond
what you feel
fall with me
into that abyss
they call love
(D. James)
