Up All Night Waiting For Something That Never Comes

it’s not that I can’t sleep
it’s that I don’t want to

an old habit
one that’s returned
with age

like a child
overtired
afraid I might
miss something

the city at rest
a cloud moving across the night sky
a song on the radio
or mother’s return

I stay up
waiting for the sun
waiting for something
to happen

until I’m too tired
to be tired

then I’ll go to sleep

(D. James)

the mouse runs on the wheel going forward and getting nowhere

must do
must always do

be doing
or be dead

action
moves the world
no time for anything
other than the doing

the being
is busy

busy
being busy
with all the doing

rushing
to the end
gold watch
and a monthly check
then a trip to eternity

never wondering
until it’s too late
where all this busy business
really gets us

(D James)

How To Explain Nothing And Everything All At Once

it’s become apparent
that my beliefs
belong to others

every thought
each action
triggered
by a past experience
something I’ve read
heard
or seen

there is nothing original
in being a non-conformist
for even that now
is simply conforming to non-conformity

this too does not originate
from me but from another

so perhaps it is not
in ideas
or language

that we are unique

it must be
in that other place
beyond words
beyond the edge of our skin
out in the far reaches
where what’s in the skull
is quiet for a moment

where we connect
with all that is
all that ever was
or ever will be

with the all of all

(D James)

Here In The Shadows

there are things I’ve done
that I would never tell

things I’ve said
I want to unsay

things I’ve seen
that do not disappear
by closing my eyes

thoughts
that cannot be unthought

rationalized
justified
explained away

apparently
you know what
I mean

because here
in the shadows
they say everyone
is hiding something

(D James)

Standing Still As The Breeze Moves The Sky

watching the light change
from red to black

focused on the petty pace
of meaningless
routine

thoughts dissolve
as they move
like radio signals
to the vast reaches
of the universe

and suddenly my worries
seem as nothing
against the majestic backdrop

the city in twilight
from a rooftop

(D James)

If It All Works Out In The End, Isn’t It All Working Out Now?

had a dream
that it all worked out
all of it

money
happiness
life

had a reality
that it all worked out

all of it

then I woke
into a place
where none of it matters

and realized my search
was complete
and so am I

(D James)